My mom who was sitting with us immediately jumped to his defense (because my brother is a wee 6’1″, savvy financial institution president, in addition to being a farmer). ” It’s when someone asks you a question, drawing your comments, solely to launch into an argument towards what you say. They’re setting you up simply to show you incorrect — creating their very own soapbox. So, choose an area of your life where you’re not feeling great about yourself—let’s say sticking to an train routine. Now, select a really small commitment to exercise that you could persist with for every week. Going for a 20-minute walk every day in your lunch hour, for instance.
Rather than method situations in a combative stance, view your self and the opposite individual as taking an investigative method. Consider and weigh all viewpoints and attempt to reach a resolution to the problem collectively. We’ve talked a lot about what to do if you’re defensive and tips on how to be much less defensive.
There are a number of methods and coping methods that you could employ to help you really feel less defensive, which is able to lead to you behaving in a less defensive method. Below are some concepts to get you started on a path towards being less defensive. I’m Hugo, and I began tracking my happiness 10 years in the past. Now, my mission is to assist destigmatize mental health, one story at a time.
The focus has shifted from damaged automobile windows to the mutual aggression. If Nathan had calmly and assertively accused Peter, the latter wouldn’t have been ready to use the counter-aggression deflection tactic. Both aggression and counter-aggression may be deflection ways because they shift the concentrate on aggression vs. the subject or downside at hand. This is a standard deflection tactic to fix a situation the place the accused has offended somebody. As mentioned earlier, folks appreciate direct answers to their questions with economical use of words.
Once this takes place, many couples find themselves in repetitive arguments they can not seem to beat. By figuring out the true supply of a difficulty, couples can cease losing time on unproductive arguments and begin to gain priceless insight that leads to resolution. I hope this text helped you answer your original query of “How can I stop being defensive in my romantic relationship or marriage?
Differences in conflict kinds don’t have to be a supply of ongoing frustration. By approaching disagreements with persistence, understanding, and a willingness to adapt, you and your partner can find a way to handle conflict that works for both of you. There isn’t a quick fix for couples seeking to break free of the criticize-defend cycle, nor is there one definitive technique that may work for everyone, as all relationships are completely different. However, there are a couple of techniques that all couples can attempt to help steer their disagreements towards a healthier, more productive place.
When you try to shift from defending / attacking again in the path of listening and understanding, you earn priceless relational points- because we all yearn to be listened to and understood. A swift and heartfelt apology on your behaviour or its penalties goes a protracted approach to disarming even righteous anger—and it additionally helps to avoid defensiveness. It can also be useful to acknowledge that you understand the reason for the criticism. You also can settle for the suggestions (and for more about how to settle for suggestions gracefully, see our page on Giving and Receiving Feedback). Alternatively, you’ll find a way to simply say that you don’t feel capable of cope with it now. However, which means you must decide to thinking about it, after which coming back to the other individual.
MindOwl Founder – My personal struggles in life have led me to this path of understanding the human situation. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy before completing a master’s diploma in psychology at Regent’s University London. This response comes from feeling sensitive, scared, responsible, or even dishonest at times.
You need to discover ways to avoid arguments in a relationship and turn them into productive conversations as an alternative. It’s totally different from constructive battle behaviors, where the focus is on understanding and growth, rather than profitable the argument or shielding one’s delight. Studies have instructed that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may be particularly helpful in addressing defensive habits. These circumstances can underlie defensive behavior—which is why on-line remedy is usually a great tool to resolve both the conduct and symptomatic expressions in some.
However, you must all the time consider it before discarding it, as a result of there may be something useful in there. The key’s to do what is needed to move past blame and anger, and as an alternative discover a constructive solution to the issue. The subsequent step is to recognise and validate how you are feeling when you’re criticised. Being defensive also usually makes situations worse, which is unhelpful if they’re already a bit tense. We concentrate on EMDR for complex trauma—affirming look after neurodivergent and LGBTQ people. We help sensible, delicate overachievers who feel stuck, burned out, or like something’s always getting in the means in which.
Continuous communication is important as it allows for regular check-ins, openness to feedback, and helps each other’s targets, fostering growth and understanding in the relationship. Moving previous defensiveness isn’t nearly avoiding arguments. It’s about constructing a stronger, more related relationship. Create a Safe Space for Honesty by setting instances to talk about your feelings without judgement. A skilled provides tools for healthy communication, guaranteeing you’re both heard and never just planning your subsequent argument while pretending to hear. Knowing when it’s time to hit the therapist’s couch as a duo could be tough.
It’s not unusual for folks to have unresolved issues from their previous that have an effect on their current relationships. If you or your associate are unwilling or unable to attend remedy, there are different strategies to work on these points. While some might imagine addressing past issues is necessary for closure, it’s not always the most effective method. We should acknowledge that it’s not the previous state of affairs that should be brought up however the acquainted feeling you might have within the current state of affairs. Eye-rolling and throwing your arms in the air are often attempts to regain management and attention in a relationship. Notice when you use these gestures and try replacing them with feeling words like sad, angry, or anxious.
Couples had been asked to read and never speak to 1 one other in a temporary ready room. Twenty minutes later, upon resuming the discussion, couples communicated with more care, listened extra attentively, and expressed larger empathy. The cognitive processes concerned in defensive feelings are like a high-speed laptop program operating in the background of our minds. In a break up second, our brains assess a situation, decide if it’s a risk, and deploy the suitable defensive technique.
But he will never know for positive if his life is unhappy as a end result of he escalates with defensiveness. This dialog may have been a chance to grasp each other and join more deeply, however he won’t ever know. The most common sort of defensiveness in relationships does not merely defend but includes a counter-attack. In contrast, redirecting a conversation is a deliberate and constructive tactic used to guide a discussion again on monitor or refocus attention on the core issue. Redirecting is often constructive and helps in resolving conflicts, while deflecting hinders progress.
Once you’ve identified the place and what goes on, you can start to know why you’re being defensive. What’s inflicting it, what’s triggering your defensive reaction? At its most basic stage, defensiveness typically arises when one thing that’s important to you feels threatened. One of one of the best ways to do this is to have a weekly State of the Union Meeting. The aim of studying tips on how to ATTUNE to one another is to scale back threats and keep away from flooding so understanding and empathy can happen. How your partner talks to you impacts how you’re feeling, however it does not determine how you respond.
John Gottman calls defensiveness one of many “Four Horsemen” that predict relationship failure. Defensive reactions can spiral into stressful cycles of blame and withdrawal, fading open communication while constructing resentment. Past trauma, like childhood abuse or neglect, additionally performs a role. If someone damage you earlier than, feeling criticized now could deliver again old pain.
People are going to deliver feedback or say issues to you sooner or later that make you’re feeling instantly defensive. One of the most effective ways to minimize back defensiveness is to become a better listener. Active listening means focusing totally on what your partner is saying—both their words and emotions—without interrupting or preparing your protection. This is a defensive habits where a person becomes anxious about one thing that hasn’t happened yet. Instead of explaining a viewpoint, all you’re doing is giving your partner all new causes to be angry. During a quarrel, you might expertise something often identified as emotional flooding.
Keeping some pacifying phrases on hand might help cool things off and produce you closer to a resolution — or a minimum of to a place the place you’ll be able to better understand each other’s point of view. It’s OK to make clear and uphold personal boundaries during battle, especially if somebody is crossing into territory you’re not snug with. Mindfulness is a state of in-the-moment awareness that promotes mind-body alignment.
Imagine a state of affairs the place two coworkers are arguing about project deadlines. ” The different fires back, “You’re always piling an extreme quantity of work on me! ” Now, as an alternative of resolving the difficulty, they’re caught in a blame cycle. If the other individual remains to be defensive or doesn’t reply properly at first, give it time.
So, acknowledging your companion by letting them know that you’ve heard them is essential. The other option you have is to stay silent for a few moments. When you’re taking the time to acknowledge the good in your self, the defensive tendency goes down.
When people really feel blamed or criticized, they naturally react defensively to guard themselves. In fact, analysis in psychology means that criticism and defensiveness are among the many high causes that conversations about battle are probably to escalate rather than resolve. According to Dr. John Gottman, a famend psychologist and relationship expert, criticism and defensiveness are two of the “Four Horsemen” that predict relationship dissatisfaction and battle. However, once we use “I” statements, we take possession of our emotions and experiences, which helps cut back the chance of a defensive reaction. Identifying defensiveness in romantic relationships is essential for fostering wholesome communication and resolving conflicts successfully.
The first step towards coping with being defensive is recognizing that you’re beginning to act defensively. Then, a cycle can ensue where defensiveness and criticism cycle backwards and forwards between each associate in an infinite loop. Although these behaviors may make you’re feeling good in the intervening time they finally leave you feeling worse.
When we’re feeling defensive, our communication can come across as snippy, angry, accusatory, or contemptuous—making misunderstandings and battle extra likely. To avoid this, apply non‑defensiveness through the use of clearer, calmer language and taking duty for your tone and words. One of the best ways to keep away from relationship arguments is to cease accusing your associate of being the problem. When you throw out accusations, it routinely puts your associate on the defensive – and people on the defensive say and do things they don’t imply and that aren’t productive. Making the dialog about your personal emotions rather than your partner’s actions is a extra compassionate method to talk.
This doesn’t imply that you must put your self in hostile environments, however rather search out thoughtful conversations with individuals whose experiences or worldviews differ from your own. As a end result, we regularly double down on our beliefs, even when evidence suggests we could be mistaken. Rather than adjusting our views, we search for facts that confirm what we already imagine.
This perspective can considerably reduce the impulse to become defensive, allowing you to evaluate feedback more objectively. This way, you can use suggestions as an opportunity to learn and grow, instead of getting defensive. In a world brimming with opinions and critiques, it’s all too straightforward to slip into the armour of defensiveness.
Next, we’ll explore the ripple results of avoidant communication in daily life and how it creates challenges for both partners. It is feasible that one thing about the method in which that you speak or act in the direction of other people may be making them really feel attacked or criticised in some way. It is subsequently worth taking time to change your behaviour to see if their reactions also change. So, for instance, if you’re feeling defensive after a not-so-stellar work evaluate, overlook about frantically rehashing all of your past workplace triumphs. By focusing in your values, you probably can shore up your shallowness and reduce the necessity to get defensive.
She described JED as the instinct to over-clarify our ideas, decisions, or feelings to be able to feel validated or understood. Fortunately, each horseman has a confirmed constructive habits that will counteract negativity. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the top of instances in the New Testament. They describe conquest, struggle, starvation, and demise respectively.
It reveals a willingness to deal with both points however emphasizes the significance of coping with them individually to make certain that each concern is correctly heard and addressed. Defensive communication in relationships usually manifests in two main types, as Deflection or Disruption. While each play a major function in communication breakdowns, they operate through different mechanisms. Deflection operates by evasion and sidestepping issues, whereas Disruption functions by manipulating dialog dynamics or the reality of the situation. Recognizing these methods is essential for addressing the roots of poor communication in a relationship. This planned strategy prevents points from randomly surfacing in daily interactions, which regularly leads to defensive reactions.
It’s a cognitive bias that causes folks to judge others in a different way than themselves. When someone else cuts us off in visitors, it’s as a outcome of they’re selfish and rude. Yet when we reduce someone off, we perceive we’re basically an excellent person who was simply working late this one time.
Instead of speaking about the true drawback, you get stuck in a loop of defending your self and accusing the opposite individual. When you utilize an I statement, it adjustments the complete tone of the dialog. Instead of accusing the other person, you’re expressing your feelings. It softens the interaction and makes the opposite particular person extra prone to pay attention somewhat than bounce into protection mode. Experts in psychology often advocate I statements as a result of they decrease the temperature in heated moments.
In reality, you could even attend couples counseling to work on your communication as a couple. Now that you realize concerning the indicators of being defensive, you might additionally be wondering if there are several sorts of defensiveness. Tracking Happiness helps you perceive one hundred pc of your happiness and get in management. But after we change our anger for curiosity, we study to see things in one other way. At one point in my life, I labored lengthy hours in a stressful job. I also had my very own small enterprise, coaching for extremely marathons, and having 2 high-maintenance canines.
Defensiveness is a adverse response to perceived criticism. It is a method to protect your self from critical feedback, and deflect your personal feelings of damage, shame or guilt. This may sound helpful—and within the instant moment, it can make you are feeling better. However, defensiveness is considered a maladaptive defence mechanism, somewhat than an adaptive one, as a outcome of it lets you avoid considering whether or not the criticism levelled at you is justified. Being in an argument with someone does not imply that you ought to be excited about your subsequent assault transfer whereas they’re talking.
With all of those kinds, the common theme is a desire to really feel secure in a second that feels emotionally dangerous. Boundaries are about protecting your energy and values with clarity and calm. On the opposite hand, defensiveness is about protecting your ego from perceived threats.
That means placing apart your rebuttals and genuinely making an attempt to know your partner’s perspective. Some start hiding their true feelings or walking on eggshells round each other, leading to a chasm of emotional distance. Let’s Work Together If you’re able to let go of JED and create healthier, more meaningful relationships, let’s join. Coaching is a protected area to explore these patterns and make lasting modifications. Do you finish up over-explaining your decisions or defending your actions in conversations, even whenever you don’t want to? This widespread habit is called JED—Justify, Explain, Defend—and it’s one thing many people slip into without even realizing it.
If you’re fighting your own feelings in response, individual counseling would possibly allow you to perceive and cope extra effectively. When you’re faced with a defensive spouse, it’s crucial to harness empathy as a device for bridging the gap between frustration and understanding. Acknowledging and addressing these triggers can create a extra supportive surroundings for each of you.
Encouraging them to talk about it and rationalize it out by communicating with you permits them to air their reliable grievance or understand that they might be wrong. ” And now you’re having an actual dialogue about the problem. Not only that, nevertheless it takes so much more time to get through the discussion! A ten-minute phone name can easily equal two hours of texting.
Our analysis has centered on opening statements to a battle dialogue. Assessing language for making closing statements would even be a useful avenue of further inquiry. Additionally, an investigation of the impact of particular statements mid-discussion could be interesting. For instance, if the dialogue has began badly, will the usage of a targeted assertion that communicates perspective using I-language ‘fall on deaf ears’?
It involves attributing our own unacceptable thoughts or emotions to others. For instance, a person who’s secretly envious of their friend’s success may accuse that pal of being jealous of them as a substitute. Self-awareness is taken into account one side of emotional intelligence (EI). EI is the ability to grasp, manage, and use your feelings in positive ways to help talk with others, relieve stress, and diffuse conflict. Conflict occurs regularly in personal relationships, at work, and even in public. Similar to quantity, a quick tempo can increase the urgency and tension of a conversation.
This is why taking a hard take a look at expressing your complaints and expressing your anger is crucial. Instead of in search of to know your partner’s perspective, you repeat your position many times. You do this because you think you are right and imagine that understanding your partner’s view is pointless. I was wrong.” can go a protracted approach to repairing a breach of trust or harm emotions.
People normally turn out to be defensive when it’s time to discuss essential issues similar to poisonous personalities, behaviors, and tendencies that threaten the health of the relationship. Instead of claiming, “You by no means listen to me,” think about saying, “I feel unheard after we talk.” See the difference? In this guide, I’ll show you how using I statements can stop arguments from turning into blame classes. We’ll cowl why they work, tips on how to use them, and why this simple change can make a huge difference in your relationships.
It’s like our mind’s method of defending us, even if it ends up inflicting extra hurt than good within the conversation. Interestingly, defensiveness doesn’t simply crop up out of nowhere—it’s typically a protecting mechanism against perceived assaults or criticism. However, while it might really feel like it’s safeguarding us, it actually does more hurt than good by blocking open communication and creating obstacles between loved ones. When you discover that someone appears defensive, think about what they might feel attacked by, or what negative things they might suspect that you simply’re excited about them. Then, counteract it by stating something constructive about them and their intentions. After you’ve got accomplished that, transfer on to ask them both to share their expertise of the situation with you – or if they’ve any ideas for the way to make issues better.
Conflict avoidance is usually brought on by a fear of confrontation, emotional discomfort, or rejection. It can stem from past trauma, low shallowness, nervousness, or learned behaviors from environments where open disagreement was discouraged. People may avoid battle to guard themselves emotionally, even if it prevents decision or honest communication. If you have an aggressive defensive personality, always do not overlook that not all feedback is created equal. Constructing a feedback filter means you learn to quickly differentiate between the two.
You’re defensive, they’re frustrated, and now you’re in a full-blown argument over one thing that probably wasn’t even that massive of a deal. Adopting a development mindset means viewing challenges, suggestions, and even criticism as opportunities for learning and self-improvement. Instead of perceiving suggestions as a private assault, try to see it as a chance to grow. The extra zen-like we really feel, the more doubtless we are to avoid defensive feelings and behaviors.
” It will take time and apply and compassion for each yourself and your companion as you attempt to change your communication into a much more productive way of talking. When we feel attacked (not solely bodily, but in addition verbally or emotionally) the human mind sends hazard indicators all through our our bodies. Thousands of years of natural choice have bolstered self-defense (the apes that didn’t defend themselves died; subsequently, our genetic make-up comes from those that did defend themselves). The first step to responding to criticism non-defensively is understanding the larger picture.
This means being ready to discuss other people’s views about you or your behaviour in a constructive means. If attainable, establish situations, topics and other people which may be more more likely to set off defensiveness in you. Instead of moving straight to defensiveness, strive acknowledging and taking responsibility for your actions or inactions. The quality of being anxious to challenge or keep away from criticism. People are imperfect and spontaneous communicators, and so they’re very delicate to ego-threatening data.
Every time his associate brought up a sensitive matter, he’d literally turn his back, creating a bodily barrier. Past relationships and traumas are like ghosts haunting your current relationship, influencing the way you react with out you even realizing it. Instead of acknowledging it, you retaliate with a reminder of their unsolicited Netflix binge last week. That’s defensiveness, turning a lounge squabble into a chilly struggle over leisure. You want to maintain your cool in an argument, however you don’t know what to say.
We are all wired to guard ourselves with a fight, flight, or freeze response. If a cougar attacks us, we adopt one of those stress responses. As a toddler, if an angry parent says to us, “You forgot to empty the garbage; you’re hopeless,” it might possibly really feel almost as distressful and dangerous as an attack from a cougar. Then, as adults, we could react to even a tiny criticism by instinctively freezing—that is, we do no matter we will to maintain the complainer from persevering with to express unfavorable comments.
This will undoubtedly replicate positively in your relationships too. Your companion will certainly observe your effort at listening to them better and fewer biased, from a position to know somewhat than battle again. Recognising your feelings is an alternative method to defend your self. It says that these emotions are acceptable, and also you due to this fact wouldn’t have to retreat into defensiveness for protection.
After a couple has shared their concerns with each other, you will need to give every individual the time and space needed to course of what has been shared. This permits feelings to be fully experienced and to naturally settle down on their very own. As a person looks deeper, unresolved childhood wounds might floor.
However, if the accused gets too economical with their words to the point that their answer is simply too brief relative to the question requested, it alerts deflection. The fact that someone is just as dangerous as the accused or worse doesn’t justify the latter’s evil actions. What others are doing is immaterial to the subject at hand- their wrongdoings. They may frame what they did as ‘lesser evil’ by way of their whataboutery as if that justifies the actions they were accused of.2Bowell, T. Deflection is tougher to detect when the accused reasonably explains their deflection, as Tim did. Tim is aware of in his mind whether or not he deflected, fairly or not.
In the heat of the moment, we frequently say things we don’t imply or escalate conflict with out eager to. Most people feel an nearly automatic must validate our opinions. This is, in reality, fairly a typical reaction in the heat of an argument.
By focusing on how you’re feeling and what you need, quite than in your partner’s perceived flaws, you create area for collaboration and problem-solving, quite than conflict. As you lay down your own weapons—blame, criticism, and impatience—and pick up tools of empathy and understanding, watch the partitions between you transform into bridges. While coping with a defensive spouse, you may find that individual counseling helps you understand and manage your own emotions effectively.
It’s necessary to be sensitive to the way in which we make people feel after we talk. It’s tempting to dig our heals in and “win” arguments, however that not often moves us ahead … and barely increases our understanding. In nearly all circumstances, defensiveness is the result of emotional insecurity and concern. However, this might be very difficult due to basic attribution error.
While management is not thought of a defensive behavior, defensive behaviors can be utilized to control others. Defensive behavior could also be used to take the primary focus off of themselves and to point criticism on the different individual. It can act to muddy the waters, cease communication, and even create feelings of confusion by suggesting that an individual who’s making an attempt to communicate a problem is “crazy” (gaslighting). This construction lets you categorical your feelings, clarify your perspective, and encourage a constructive response. By focusing in your emotions and experiences, you present the other particular person with a chance to know your viewpoint without feeling attacked.
However, it’s important to notice that the ‘right’ time to revisit the conversation could vary. What issues is that each parties feel ready for a peaceful, constructive discussion. An emotional shutdown could critically hinder personal growth. It prevents individuals from understanding themselves, interferes with constructive dialogue, and limits their capability to determine and protect satisfying relationships.
This worry triggers your limbic system, the brain’s “fight or flight” heart. Instead of processing constructive feedback, you would possibly give excuses or reply with righteous indignation. Still undecided what to do about the arguments in your relationship? Chat on-line to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who may help you figure things out.
In Why Marriages Succeed or Fail Gottman says that calming your self is the very first step to avoid getting defensive. The defensive particular person seemingly accepts the suggestions and goes one step additional. If the suggestions says the dinner just isn’t well-cooked, the recipient cries and blames himself for being a horrible prepare dinner and for falling wanting expectations. Defensiveness is a form of self-protection that many individuals naturally resort to when confronted with suggestions, criticism, and complaints. Even if, yes husband, it is the plant I overwatered and is now rotting that causing flies to hatch from the soil. Even if, yes, the fact that I huffed and sighed and turned away from you was impolite and that getting indignant at you, husband, for the legitimate criticisms just isn’t wholesome.
This technique not only reduces defensiveness but additionally fosters a extra open and respectful communication surroundings. There is a marked distinction in my defensive ranges, and I put this down to decreasing my basic life stress levels. I didn’t have the time to have interaction in new concepts or deep conversations. When we feel comfortable with ourselves, we will acknowledge criticism as an opportunity for growth. It stands to cause that the greater our shallowness, the extra at ease we’re with ourselves.
For example, let’s say your relationship together with your spouse, and specifically, arguments about cash, are the place you really struggle with defensiveness. The most important thing you are in a place to do to become more self-aware about your defensiveness is to be trustworthy with your self about when it’s happening. The fact that you’re even studying this information is an effective indicator that you’re prepared to begin taking a look at. When Tom was feeling safe and confident at work, bits of criticism at home didn’t have a lot of an impact on him. So we depend on this primitive coping mechanism of lashing out and criticizing the other individual to briefly make us feel higher.
Couples therapy can present a space to discover these widespread pitfalls and develop the tools essential to avoid them. By being mindful of defensiveness, criticism, mutual expectations, and emotional connection, couples can create a stronger, extra fulfilling partnership. The secret is to strategy communication with openness, empathy, and a dedication to development.
I really feel like Sully in Monsters Inc when he sees himself roaring and all of a sudden realises how much he by accident scared Boo. Stress could make you out of control, on edge, and unable to use the best approach to reply to criticism. Deep breaths and different stress administration routines ought to assist clean things out. What I’ve noticed is that in many of the cases once I was too defensive, I was feeling generally careworn that same day or week. Being cranky put me in the temper for being defensive, which frequently had a foul outcome.
Even together with your greatest efforts, you’re likely to encounter it a minimal of often throughout life. It’s true that you don’t all the time have to get along with folks. And you don’t have to surrender your beliefs, beliefs, or opinions just to keep away from conflict and confrontation. When battle is getting the most effective of you and any others involved, having an neutral party obtainable to mediate might help everyone cool down. You can ask a mutual pal, member of the family, or knowledgeable therapist to assist facilitate effective communication.
Maybe it just came out of nowhere and didn’t really align with how you understand the scenario to be at all. And equally, wholesome pals or a good relationship companion need you to succeed as nicely. Your success has a direct influence on the standard of their very own lives and perspectives. The greatest time to start out controlling your defensiveness is true when it’s triggered. The solely method you’re going to get that information is through criticism and positive communication habits.
Rather, it’s about developing a more flexible and adaptive approach to managing our feelings and interactions. Developing healthier coping mechanisms is one other crucial side of overcoming defensiveness. This might contain training defusion methods to achieve distance from troubling thoughts, or learning to precise emotions in more constructive ways. The first step in overcoming defensiveness is self-awareness. It’s about studying to acknowledge our defensive patterns and the triggers that set them off.
For these battling continual defensiveness, seeking professional assist may be invaluable. Therapists can present a secure space to explore the roots of defensive behaviors and develop strategies for change. They can also help uncover and tackle any underlying issues, such as low vanity or previous traumas, which might be fueling defensive patterns. Defensiveness can act like a wrench within the gears of interpersonal communication. It can result in misunderstandings, escalate conflicts, and create a cycle of adverse interactions. When one particular person turns into defensive, it typically triggers defensiveness in others, creating a downward spiral of miscommunication.
